


Diamonds Taking Shape

by heoneymin



Series: (All In) The Golden Afternoon [3]
Category: K-pop, Monsta X (Band)
Genre: ....sort of - Freeform, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Magic, Mythical Beings & Creatures, Self-Esteem Issues, Slow Burn, Supernatural Elements, Temporary Character Death, Urban Fantasy, background joohyuk and changki btw, dream-sharing, implied depression too tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-03
Updated: 2019-03-03
Packaged: 2019-11-08 21:39:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17988998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heoneymin/pseuds/heoneymin
Summary: —　I'm a dream that died by light of dayHyungwon has never had dreams before—spirits aren't capable of having those. So this mess is definitely Wonho's doing.Somehow.





	Diamonds Taking Shape

**Author's Note:**

> i promised I'd do a hwh spinoff so I did. Not gonna lie tho, if you clicked on this without context of the previous fic(s), you might be a _bit_ confused (that being said, it is 100% possible to read this as a stand-alone if you want)
> 
> the (1) bit of necessary bg info : Minhyuk only ever gets referred to as 'Min' in this AU

 

☾

 

Hyungwon was familiar with sleeping. Sleeping was not the issue.

The dreaming, that was new.

 

☾

 

Some things were just universally known when one was a spirit of any shape or form.

Interacting with humans is dangerous, though not exactly forbidden.

Food is a luxury, not a necessity.

Spirits are neither dead nor alive, always existing in a state between. Thus, while one could fade in and out of consciousness for a while, none could dream.

Or at least, they shouldn't be able to.

 

☾

 

Hyungwon was used to spending his winters upstream, tucked away in one of the river's many caverns. It was silent there, and peaceful. Nothing but the water eternally rushing past and the glint of sunlight peeking through the ice overhead.

Some water sprites despised winter. They called it boring and drab and lifeless. But Hyungwon liked it that way. Having his corner of the world all to himself. In spring there would be fish and deer and rabbits and birds, in summer he'd go visit the forest in the valley and talk to his friends.

But winter was only his.

 

☾

 

It was winter, and then it wasn't.

Hyungwon felt his consciousness slide on the edge of wakefulness, precariously balancing and then—

Land, only land as far as the eye could see. Fields of wheat and a few lone trees at the edge. Humming in the distance. A house, stretching wide yet somehow still small against the horizon. Blue skies the color of the sea.

A landscape he'd never seen before.

A landscape he couldn't have seen before.

He felt panic well up. From one second to the next, he snapped back and the vision was gone, replaced by familiar rock and mud and ice.

For the first time in Hyungwon's life-long memory, he had had a dream.

 

☾

 

He just wants to be sure. That's what he tells himself when he makes his way down to the forest at the start of summer and the dreams still haven't faded from his mind.

Because they kept happening, coming and going as they pleased without rhyme or reason.

It was frustrating and terrifying all at once.

By all logic, they _couldn't_ be dreams, but they felt like every description of one he had heard in tale or song. But he needed to ask someone, speak the words out loud to make sure it wasn't just his imagination. Or something worse.  

He couldn't wander far from his river though. And asking humans was out of the question even if he could have. Spirits wouldn't be much help. So that left only the one person in-between that he knew.

 

☾

 

"Yeah, that just sounds like a dream to me," Jooheon says with a pensive look on his face. Water gently laps around his feet at the riverbed.

Hyungwon hangs his head in defeat.

"I was afraid you'd say that."

"What's so bad about dreaming?"

"Spirits don't dream."

Jooheon just laughs at his reply.

"Trust me, I noticed. I really wish I still could."

"Why?" Hyungwon asks. He really doesn't get the appeal. "It's terrifying."

"No it isn't. I mean, it _can_ be, that's what nightmares are, but most dreams are pleasant." Judging by the fond smile on Jooheon's face, he has had his fair share of these so-called 'pleasant' dreams. "It's fascinating what the human mind can get up to during sleep."

"Exactly," Hyungwon points out, "The _human_ mind."

"Hey, hey, watch it," Jooheon splashes some water towards him, "I'm human."

"Correction, you _were_ human."

"Dying didn't magically make my human traits disappear Wonnie. It just gave me a bunch of spirit ones on top."

"Like not dreaming."

Another grin breaks out across the forest spirit's face. Hyungwon is starting to think Jooheon doesn't understand the severity of his issue.

"I dunno, if you can, I'm kinda hoping I can too."

Hyungwon groans. This really is going nowhere.

"I just want to know how to make it stop."

"Have you even tried exploring them?" Jooheon suggests.

"Exploring what?"

"Your dreams. Have you tried looking around? Seeing what happens?"

Hyungwon grimaces at the thought. "Why would I want to do that?"

"You can't figure out a solution to a problem if you don't have details of what you're dealing with."

"Makes sense," Hyungwon begrudgingly admits. Jooheon looks entirely too smug to his liking.

"You're welcome."

"Is that the same attitude you had towards dying?" he snidely comments. It comes out a bit meaner than intended, but Jooheon doesn't seem to take offence.

"Obviously," he just replies, "I'm still here aren't I?"

 

☾

 

He forgets about Jooheon's suggestion for the remainder of his visit. Only when he returns home and settles down at the end of fall, he realizes he still has no other clue how to stop the dreams from coming. Other than staying awake, but well. Hyungwon likes the calm that washes over him when he reaches that state beyond the waking world. He doesn't want to give it up just because of this.

So he might as well try exploring.

If Jooheon could find a solution to dying, Hyungwon can find the solution to dreaming.

No big deal.

 

☾

 

Hyungwon dreams in shards.

 

☾

 

A glacier sparkles white-silver-crystal in the early morning. The wind carries a lone melody.

He wakes up.

 

☾

 

Houses line the streets, packed and stacked high towards the heavens. Banners and signs and pink-yellow-purple words flash across the windows. The streets are swarmed with people, their movements so mindless they become reminiscent of a single entity. Their noises and chatter are but a whisper. Music trickles through. Hyungwon slots into the crowd, flows along with them over cobblestone and tile until he trips.

He wakes up.

 

☾

 

It's night. The sky is clear and stars dot and swirl in patterns like faeries dancing through sparkling gold dust like sand beneath his feet. From somewhere, he hears the lull of waves, although it's too dark to see that far ahead. 

A campfire roars next to him. It's warm, too much, hot enough to make his skin boil and sizzle but not really. 

He hears a song. He recognizes it.

He wakes up.

 

☾

 

Between leaves and in hallways and underneath city lights, dream after dream, he hears those same notes ring through whatever strange scenario he finds himself in.

His explorations gain a purpose.

 

☾

 

Hyungwon is nothing if not persistent. It only takes two more dreams to find the song's origin.

 

☾

 

There's a man, near-iridescent in the moonlight, leaning precariously against the balustrade. The tune he hums is burned into Hyungwon's mind.

"You!" Hyungwon shouts. The other man nearly loses his balance. Hyungwon grabs him by the collar of his shirt.

"Who are you and why are you doing this?"

"Wait," the man sputters out. "That's my line. What's your problem?"

From up close, Hyungwon can make out the flecks of starlight that seem to be woven into every fiber of the man's being. He doesn't belong here any more than Hyungwon does, that much is certain.

"Me being here, that's the problem. How did you manage to make me dream?"

The man gapes at him, mouth slightly ajar.

"I— You can tell this is a dream?"

"Of course I can, isn't it obvious?"

When the man moves to shrug, the air around him shimmers. "People usually can't distinguish dreams from reality."

"I'm not _people_ ," Hyungwon turns his head, making sure the unnatural glow of his eyes and the glint of scales are visible. "I'm a water sprite."

"Huh. I don't think I've been in a non-human's dream before."

"That's because my kind doesn't dream."

"Well, apparently you do."

"I do not."

With every second spent in meaningless discussion, Hyungwon grows more frustrated, while his companion appears to find it amusing.

"I can only appear in other people's dreams. So if this isn't your dream and it isn't mine either, we're at an impasse here."

"What kind of creature are you in the first place?" Hungwon snaps.

"I'm human. I think?" The man sounds genuinely uncertain. "Or I used to be. I can't remember much. It's...been a while since I became stuck like this."

Hyungwon shakes off his lingering distaste towards the situation—and the man's attitude—and considers the reply. "Human... A dreamwalker?"

It's possible. Something still isn't quite right, but it's one more puzzle piece to fit into the mystery.

"Is that what people like me are called?"

"You don't know?"

"Never had anyone to explain these things to me, no."

Hyungwon is sure that he would show more pity towards the man, had he not been the cause of Hyungwon's own problems right now.

"Yes. Dreamwalkers are rare though, and I never heard of one coming into contact with spirits inside a dream either."

The man grimaces. "Yeah. I assume they're usually also still alive while dreaming, huh?"

"What is that supposed to mean? Of course. You can't dream if you're dead."

A breeze passes between them, carrying the frost of winter. The man spreads his arms in gesture.

"And yet, here I am."

 

☾

 

The man talks, and Hyungwon listens.

His story starts when he was young, youthful explorations in reality interspersed with those in dreams, until the dreams felt as real as the waking world. At some point it became hard for him to distinguish which was which. He didn't get lost, per se, but often chose to wander from dream to dream instead of waking up.

And then one day, he discovered he could no longer wake up at all.

"That's impossible."

"Oh, so _now_ you're the dream expert here?"

Hyungwon shoves the man, to little effect.

"I don't need to be an expert to know your story is weird. How do you simply not notice _dying_?"

"Ah," the other grins sheepishly, though it doesn't reach his eyes, "I noticed. I just... Couldn't do much about it."

"Excuse me?" Hyungwon raises his voice in disbelief.

"Do we really have to talk about this?"

It's the first time in their—admittedly short—acquaintance that the man shows annoyance, or any emotion that isn't simple curiosity or amusement. Hyungwon hadn't noticed how ever-present his smile had been until it disappeared.

The attempt to divert the topic piques Hyungwon's interest though, but not enough to risk provoking the man's ire. Dreams are his territory after all, not Hyungwon's.

"I figured, since we're stuck here, we might as well."

"You're not stuck," he points out, "You can just wake up."

Hyungwon rolls his eyes. As if he hadn't figured that out yet on his own. "And end up right back here next time I try to get some rest?"

"No two dreams are ever the same, and I can't stay once the dream ends, so it definitely wouldn't be _here_."

"Not the dream," Hyungwon groans, "The situation! This is the twelfth dream I've had where I heard you humming that stupid song."

"Is it really that bad?"

"That's what you choose to focus on?"

A huff of laughter is his only reply.

Hyungwon is starting to think that this man—or whatever he is now—enjoys riling him up. He stares across the empty gardens in front of them, stretching far beyond the marble steps they're seated on. It's nothing like Jooheon's forest. There's plants, but no life. Even the sunlight feels cold, washed out in yellow-green colors across the horizon.

Ironically, the dead man walking next to him feels like the realest thing out here. His presence and the easy banter puts Hyungwon at ease, somehow.

He sighs.

"This is such a mess."

"At least we're in it together?" the man offers. His face is once again void of whatever memory plagued him before, edges smoothed over by a demure yet hopeful smile. It looks kind and just the right amount of charming.

"So, what's your name?" he asks.

Against all instinct, Hyungwon caves.

"Hyungwon. Of Yesang river."

"Nice to meet you," the man forged of liquid moonlight replies, "I'm Wonho."

 

☾

 

Over the course of the next few dreams, Hyungwon continues to search Wonho out. As expected, now Hyungwon knows how to look, it's fairly simple to spot him. Always at the outskirts of the dream, always humming to himself.

Neither of them has any clue how to address the elephant in the room—why they keep sharing these dreams, and how—so they end up talking about other things instead.

What Hyungwon's home is like, how his friends are doing. How Wonho has spent their time apart, other dreams he has dreamt.

Apparently when Wonho first learned how to set foot in others' dreams, he had to stick close to the person dreaming it. Because dreams seem to be most stable around their owner, though no less predictable for it. At least you can't really get lost near the center of dreams, Wonho explains, unlike the edges where paths fray and splinter and try to merge with others'.

"Then why do you stay at the edges every time I see you?" Hyungwon asks.

Wonho shrugs, "Because I can, now. It's less bothersome for the person dreaming too."

That particular line of reasoning doesn't make much sense to Hyungwon, but he lets it be. If Wonho prefers it this way, whom is he to judge? Besides, it probably has perks as well—because Wonho can only stay in a dream for as long as it exists, and as such, needs to be able to find his way from one to another in quick succession. From the way he describes it, the darkness in-between is anything but pleasant.

There's another part of Hyungwon's curiosity peaked by that revelation though.

"Do people need to be close for you to enter their dream?"

Wonho shakes his head. The movement makes his hair shimmer in slow-motion. They're underwater in this dream, and while it makes Hyungwon feel more at home, the other man looks tenser than he ever has.

"Physical distance doesn't matter," Wonho's voice drifts along with the current, "Some adjoined dreams can belong to people on opposite ends of the world."

"Then how do you decide which ones to enter?"

"Every dream has a certain feel to it. Exhilarating, adventurous or full of amazement. Disgust or fear, too."

"Then, the dreams we've been sharing?" Hyungwon presses forward, "Why did you pick them?"

A chill travels past them, fleeting like a spring breeze. Hyungwon sees the glint of sand particles float around them and wonders if Wonho can see it too. Maybe not. Maybe it's too dark for him, here.

"They felt— _feel_ —peaceful. Little bubbles of quiet inside a maelstrom."

Like air frozen in the ice, like drifting along the ocean's trenches. Hyungwon understands. There's silence in the deep, absolute and all-encompassing like nothing else in existence.

Wonho stares up to the prisms of light breaking through the surface, yearning.

"I just wanted someplace where I could catch my breath."

 

☾

 

Winter ends, and Hyungwon wakes up.

Against all expectations, he starts to miss his time with Wonho. The hushed conversations in the night and all the ways in which he tried to make Hyungwon laugh. The ever-changing scenery. His voice, his songs. Softer than the ones Kihyun belts out, gentler than Jooheon and Min's duets.

Hyungwon didn't know dreaming could feel like this.

 

☾

 

The longer Hyungwon is awake, the more he wonders. About water and air and all that lives in between. About living, and how long it takes for humans to drown.

Most of all, he thinks about the look on Wonho's face that day on the bottom of the lake. And he wonders and wonders. How long has the man lost in dreams been holding his breath, hoping to wake up?

 

☾

 

"Hey, did you know there's a pack of shifters living in the forest near you?"

Hyungwon startles out of his daze. He had been staring out at the fish weaving through the streets beneath them, in perfect harmony with one another, scales the color of rainbows.

Wonho is looking at him, patient, waiting. Hyungwon's brain catches up at last.

"The wolves, you mean?"

Wonho nods.

"I ended up in one of their dreams while you were awake. Changkyun I think? Nice kid, if a bit weird."

"Yeah, he's the leader. Sort of. He doesn't like being called that." Hyungwon grins at the memory of the shifter's face last time he referred to him as the alpha in jest. His nose had scrunched up in thinly veiled disgust, the corners of his fangs digging into his lip.

Kihyun had revealed long before that it wasn't the name that upset Changkyun so, but the pressure of bearing responsibility. He was a good leader though, despite what he thought of himself, and Hyungwon and the others were quick to remind—and tease—him about it.

"I don't mention him as often as Min or Kihyun, but yes, he has been there for a while now. Apparently he grew up in the mountains near Jooheon's hometown, so that was a funny coincidence as well."

"Jooheon?"

"The nature spirit. That forest in the valley I mentioned? That's him."

"Oh, right, the one that used to be human."

Hyungwon grunts in agreement and turns to pet one of the turtles drifting past. In the distance, a whale calls out through the clouds.

"You know," Wonho continues, "I think I might have met Jooheon once."

"Really? But he's—"

"He's a spirit too, so he doesn't dream, I know. I meant, back when he was human. I'm not sure though. But I definitely heard his name before I met you, and Min's too. If it was the dream I think it was, though... It was pretty unsettling."

"Unsettling?"

"Dark, eerie. Like there was a shadow hanging over him. It was one of the few times where I felt absolutely useless. I couldn't do anything to make the dream better."

Hyungwon eyes soften, trained on Wonho's face to try and decipher the emotions that flit across. Wonho might not be the best at influencing dreams or otherwise using his magic, but what he can do, he has learned through sheer instinct and intuition alone. All out of his selfless desire to help others feel more at ease. It's pretty admirable.

"Did you talk to him?"

"For a while, yes. Why?" he asks like he can't comprehend why such a simple detail would be important.

"Then trust me, you helped," Hyungwon runs a hand over Wonho's hair, an attempt at comfort. The strands are soft to the touch. "Jooheon is a pretty big scaredycat, and gets lonely easily. So, even if you could do nothing but stand there and talk to him, you probably made him feel safer than before."

Wonho reverts into one of his quiet, contemplating moods after that. Hyungwon makes sure to hum his song instead, so the silence doesn't swallow them whole.

 

☾

 

The more Hyungwon talks to Wonho, the more things he starts to notice. For example, how Wonho looks happiest when talking about others, how he keeps his own stories short but can ask questions about Hyungwon's for hours. How he rarely mentions his past, or his life in reality back when he had one. It's like he tries his best to dissipate into nothingness.

It frustrates Hyungwon to no end. Selfless, so selfless to the point of whittling away at his own actions and words if it makes someone else smile. He tries to do it for Hyungwon too, and that's the worst part.

Sometimes it works.

Hyungwon will find himself laughing and not realize that Wonho stopped his own to listen. He'll halt in his tracks while exploring because he found something interesting, and Wonho will follow suit.

It's never Wonho suggesting things to do, it's never Wonho asking for anything at all. Not even for Hyungwon's time. Each time they say goodbye, it's like he's scared to utter the words 'See you later' because Hyungwon might choose to not look for him in the next dream.

It all comes to a head the day Hyungwon asks, "Why did you spend so much time in other people's dreams?"

And Wonho starts to explain, carefully considering each syllable he enunciates.

"I liked it. The feeling of their happiness. That I could make their bad dreams better. Like I was protecting them, somehow."

Speaking in past tense, always, never in the here and now.

"And you don't feel like that anymore?"

His eyes bore into Wonho's, communicating the threat of dismemberment should he choose to lie to Hyungwon.

Wonho grimaces, but responds truthfully anyway.

"Nowadays I tend to feel like a burden. I don't like having to bother others to survive."

"You're not bothering anyone. You just exist."

"Aren't those the same thing in my case?"

Hyungwon sees red, molten lava spilling over. "Has dreaming for decades eroded your mind? Of course they're not the same thing!"

The shouting visibly takes Wonho aback. Good. At least that means he's listening.

"Even if you're dependant on others, you're not a burden! How could you be? You either stay out of their way or do everything you can to make their dreams better."

Wonho's shoulders sag, his eyes avoiding Hyungwon's. "It's the least I could do."

"The least you could do is _nothing_. But I know you, you're not capable of sitting by and watching people suffer. That's what got you into this mess in the first place. You care so much about others that you forget to care about yourself!"

"I don't forget!" Wonho raises his voice, for the first time ever, and Hyungwon considers it a victory sweeter than any fruit.

"No, you just don't think your happiness is as important as everyone else's."

Wonho's jaw clenches. He falls quiet, searching for a way to refute Hyungwon's claims but finding none. Hyungwon reaches out to rest a hand in the crook of Wonho's elbow. It's not an apology, though perhaps it can be a peace offering. Trying to physically bridge the distance that words created.

"You said you used to like sharing others' dreams. That it was fun."

" _It was_ ," Wonho insists.

"Then what changed?"

"I did."

Hyungwon glares at him. "You didn't."

"I _died_."

"As a good friend of mine likes to remind me, dying doesn't change who you are, only _what_ you are. Your form is different, but your soul is the same as ever—a big gentle idiot who is too self-sacrificing for his own good."

Wonho turns his head away, stubbornly refusing to meet Hyungwon's gaze. It's fine. They have time to figure it out. Winter has barely begun.

"Be honest," Hyungwon urges, "Do you like sharing dreams? If you forget about the guilt of intruding and what others might think, do _you_ like it?"

Hyungwon hopes he already knows the answer to that. He can't stand the thought of being the only one to think fondly of the dreams they share, just as he doesn't want to imagine Wonho wasting away while he isn't around.

Despite everything, Wonho still wants to live, and there has to be a reason for that.

"Yes," Wonho admits to floor beneath their feet. Hyungwon curls up against him, relieved.

"Good, that's all that matters."

 

☾

 

After that day, Hyungwon realizes Wonho won't flinch away from his too-cold, too-weird touch, and finds it hard to stop himself from reaching out. Simple gestures like an arm slung across his shoulder, or a hand encircling his wrist are enough to ease any lingering worry that Wonho isn't really there.

It's an odd fear to have, for a spirit. He himself is less than tangible in reality after all.

But Wonho indulges him, reciprocating within the boundaries he appears to have set for himself. He speaks out more often these days, and once or twice Hyungwon even manages to make him talk about his family.

It's a sign of trust, if anything, one that makes hope bloom in Hyungwon's chest.

Wonho feels warm and solid and gives the most comfortable hugs. His smiles are brighter than ever before. His laughter rings loud and clear across their dreams.

The first time Hyungwon kisses him is in the middle of a white-gold desert, mirages dancing in the corner of his eye.

It feels like summer rain and stardust.

 

☾

 

"I remember dying, you know," Wonho whispers into the curve of Hyungwon's back one night. His arms are locked tight around the other's waist. Hyungwon tangles their fingers into abstract webs so he can't let go.

"You mentioned it, yes."

"It hurt, even in the dream. There was pressure, and darkness, and I couldn't breathe." He swallows, the sound unnaturally loud. "Maybe I could have done something, prevented it if I went back. But I got scared."

"You escaped deeper into the dreams?"

Wonho nods. His grip tightens. "Ran away, one last time. As far as I could, as fast as I could. But I still felt the moment when I— When I stopped breathing."

"I'm sorry," Hyungwon turns around until their noses brush together. "But I'm happy I got to meet you because of it, nonetheless."

Wonho's eyes shine like the ice-diamonds that decorate Hyungwon's home. He smiles, and it doesn't hurt to watch any longer.

"Kissing you reminds me of dying too, sometimes."

Hyungwon grins.

"I'm a river, after all. We're not always kind."

 

☾

 

In the end, Hyungwon doesn't know when he stops caring about what is or is not possible. There's theories Min has, of Wonho latching onto Hyungwon's sense of calm while he sleeps, of the possibility that the dreams are echoes of what Wonho has seen before.

The dreams might be fundamentally his, or they might be Hyungwon's after all. They can't tell, and to be frank, Hyungwon no longer minds the dreams at all.

He has spring to laze around at home, and summer to visit Jooheon and Min. Fall to get annoyed by Changkyun's friends and Kihyun passing by with yet another person he met during his travels.

He has all the time he needs to be awake during the other seasons.

But winter?

Winter is Wonho's stories and realms beyond reality. It's harsh weather and soft kisses, catching up and wasting time together.

Winter is theirs alone, and Hyungwon wouldn't dream of having it any other way.

 

 

 

☾☾

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> @ the like six ppl that genuinely like this AU as much as I do: I love you for reading this & leaving me such nice comments!!
> 
> other notes:  
> -i changed tenses after the first few paragraphs on purpose, bc the previous two fics were written in past tense but I actually prefer writing in present tense soooo consider this fic the transition haha  
> -the song wonho is humming can be whatever you want it to be but for obvious reasons I imagined From Zero lol  
> -yes he died by drowning  
> -nope he's not getting his body back but he'll probably manage to figure out how to consciously invite others into his 'dreams' at some point  
> -(because yep they're actually his, Hyungwon is just a catalyst)  
> -shownu didn't get mentioned by name yet but he's there
> 
> this is the first non-joohyuk fic i post so please, be kind & leave me some feedback so I know what parts were alright & what parts still need tweaking!!


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